It has taken me many years and so much work to understand my worth. This is not to say I do not have moments or days I’m not feeling myself or doubting who I am or what I do. But I can say hand on heart my calling to reclaim who I am is much, much bigger than any fear that may pop up.
The more I have risen to and overcome these fears the more the fire in my belly has risen and continues to burn fuelling my faith to keep going no matter what crosses my path. My steps, my path are mine alone and will be different to yours and that’s ok.
The more I have stepped up the more it has illuminated where my work lies and what is required to be done if anything to shift the perception of myself. You see self esteem or lack of it is intricately attached to an identity or an idea of self we think we should be or believe ‘others’ want us to be.
In this belief it is perceived expectations that we pour our energy into an idea of ourselves that we think others want or need us to be, hence we slowly but surely walk away from ourselves. Each time our ‘identity’ which has and does serve a purpose mind you, is affirmed or celebrated by the outside world this entrenches it even further.
The adage of why fix what’s not broken plays out here. The question I invite you to ask is, is it working for you? Does this way of being allow you to feel at home within yourself or safe to be yourself in whatever way you are, wherever you are. If the answer is no, there is work to be done.
Now we could easily slip into judgement here, over who you’ve been and what you’ve done, this serves no one least of all you. Compassion, patience and most of all Love will not only support this transition but respect and loving kindness towards the self who at the time was doing the best they could, they didn’t know any better and were weighed down by conditioning, programming etc.
The belief is far too often that once this reconnection and remembering occurs the work is done, when in truth is only just beginning.
Clear signs of reconnection to soul self:
Less need to prove yourself No need or desire to defend who you are or what you think. You lead by example. Those who are in alignment understand those who don’t are none of your concern.
You are no longer fatigued by maintaining your persona or saying the ‘right’ thing. You show up, do you not despite anyone else but rather because you value everyone concerned including yourself.
You value yourself and who you are more than other’s opinions of you. You understand not to take what others think or say about you personally as you know it has nothing to do with you.
You are excited each and everyday to get to know yourself better. You embrace this adventure of self discovery whole heartedly and you understand that through this process it opens up a whole new world and depth to all relationships and interactions.
You know and are able to state what you are good at clearly, without ego or being conceited. But rather remaining grounded heart centred and clear.
You see others quite differently also, compassion is within all connections and relationships be they intimate or acquaintances. You see their soul and humanness in a new light as you lovingly see and honour yourself in turn you do this for others also.
You become comfortable in saying no to things that aren’t in alignment and Yes to things that stretch you past your comfort zone for you know you are worth it, you are supported at every turn and the parts of self that know how to do it, whatever that is will rise up when you step up.
There is so much more that I could add here. Self worth is not a one off process but a collection of choices big and small to return to self no matter how uncomfortable or challenging the process may be. It is what you are here for, this knowing keeps you going on the days you want to give up.
Until I value myself no one else will.
Until I let love be felt and experienced by all facets of me especially those parts I judge as not enough or I feel shame or guilt for. I will believe I am incomplete and inadequate.
Until I prioritise reclamation of my embodied sovereign self I will be at a loss as to what I am here for and constantly feel frustrated, disappointed or both.
Be Well, Clare xo
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